PREVIEW CLIP:  Happiness Expert and “Build the Life You Want” Author

Arthur Brooks Joins Drew For A Master Class on How to Worry Less

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Photo Credit: The Drew Barrymore Show/Ash Bean     

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Preview Clip:

Arthur Brooks Addresses How To Handle Worrying About Our Children

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c9brdmswCw
Drew: Since the day my kids were born, I have not stopped worrying. It has made me physically ill. It has made me mentally worn down. I'm just so fearful of anything bad happening to them. And I don't wanna be a prisoner to this level of fear anymore. I know they don't want it for me and I don't want it for me. So hearing you is, I feel less alone and it's a cycle I truly wanna break and focusing on the outcome you want, feels really powerful because I could find a better channel to put all of this energy into.

Arthur: You also suffered and struggled a lot in ways that your kids won't. And, and part of it is because your kids have a different childhood than you did. And it's worth keeping in mind that they're gonna have a different childhood than you because of you. Your kids are not growing up with your parents, they're growing up with you and you have a choice, the things that weren't good about your childhood, the struggles and the suffering that you had as a child, you can edit that in your own parenting. And we all can, we can manage ourselves to say what is the life that I want my kids to see and they wanna get for me. And that's the life I'm gonna give, I'm not locked into it a destiny. There's no destiny in this at all. On the contrary, I learned that thing. It was a negative lesson, but I learned that thing. And what I learned from that is it's not going to my kids. Here's what I recommend that we all do just a very practical thing to do. Keep a worry journal. Keep a book of, don't let anybody see it. But, but by the way, pencil and paper, you gotta write it down. And the reason is because you need to move the experience of your emotions from the ancient parts of your brain into the most human conscious parts of your brain called the prefrontal cortex behind your forehead. And the way that you do that physically is by picking up a pencil and writing this down, write down your worries, write them down, you will make them specific. And then when you come back to them, you're gonna see progress and say, yeah, I used to be worried about that, but that resolved itself. And that means that that thing I was really worried about wasn't as big a worry as I thought. And maybe the thing I'm worried about now isn't as big as I thought. Write it down, own it. I mean, I promise you that as your kids grow up, you're gonna treasure that. You're gonna go back to that. You're gonna look at it when they're 20 say I'm so worried about college and you're gonna back out. It's so funny because 15 years ago I was worried about them, you know, falling down to the playground in their first day of kindergarten or whatever it happened to be and worries are natural but the more they're specific, the better off you're going to be.