The Drew Barrymore Show: “THE HALF OF IT” AUTHOR MADISON BEER
The Fastest-Growing Show in Daytime!
“THE HALF OF IT” AUTHOR MADISON BEER
MUST INCLUDE TUNE IN
Air Date: Wednesday, April 26th
Photo Credit: The Drew Barrymore Show/Ash Bean
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Madison Beer and Drew on Struggling with Mental Health
Drew: Everybody struggles, so I related on levels that are difficult to talk about and I want to thank you because you’re discussing stuff right now that I want to make you feel safe about because I've been there. So when you were struggling there was attempts at escaping life, tell me about that.
Madison: I got to the point that things caught up with me that I had never acknowledged, I never wanted to face. I feel like I was sort of putting on this façade and living this role I had been assigned for so long and it all caught up to me one day and then one day turned into weeks and months and honestly I feel like it was at least year that I was always in this sort of like suicidal ideation mindset. It felt very normal to me to think about that at the end of every day, and then that wasn’t until I ended up actually making an attempt. It was thankfully, obviously unsuccessful. I don’t know it just all became too much and that’s when I also decided, ‘Okay clearly there’s something more for me to live for. I wasn’t successful and I want to do something with that.’ I want to be able to say I made the choice to live and what am I gonna do now, what does that mean?
Drew: And did this happen twice?
Madison: Yeah, I don’t like to I guess admit that it happened twice because the second time I sort of brush off, and that should just show how not serious it was to me anymore, it became so normal that sitting on a balcony and debating jumping off was just something that I kind of did. And that’s why I'm like, ‘Was that really that big of a deal?’ and now obviously with a lot of reflection and writing about it, obviously yes.
Drew: Me as well, twice. I don’t know if I really wanted to leave the Earth. I was so desperate that I did not know where else to turn.
Madison: Right you wanted like a way out even if it was maybe temporary, but obviously it can’t be. There’s no way to describe it. I always used to say to my best friend, ‘I just want a temporary death, like maybe it’s not forever but right now it’s too much and I want out currently.’
Madison on How She Found Her Way Out and the Healing Work She’s Done
Drew: How did you find your way out, back, I ask because I've had to ask myself these same questions.
Madison: I still ask it. I think my biggest thing though was I started doing a lot of inner child work, I started healing the little girl in me very seriously and that was something I dove in head first. I was like this has to be what I start with, I have to start at the beginning of where I feel like this pain is coming from. So I really took that seriously, I went on a couple mental health retreats. I did therapy every single day of the week. I just really committed to getting to better, whatever better even means. I started to love myself the same way I try to love other people.
Drew: I love you. Everything you just said what as an incredible roller coaster of real productiveness in seeking help, in self-awareness, in giving grace to others, realizing you’re not giving it to yourself...and I applaud that because you never have to be fake or anyone but you.