December 6, 2004

NEWS, NOTES & QUOTES FROM CBS SPORTS' "THE NFL TODAY" FOR WEEK 13 ON DECEMBER 5

?(On Steroid Controversy)
Greg Gumbel: Headlines have centered around the steroid scandal. There's implication of several Olympic track and field gold medalists. An NFL league spokesman told us its steroid policy is helping. Many support steroid testing. In fact, each of the players in the National Football League get this handout, which details the items that are banned for use. They include 38 agents, 22 masking agents, five different stimulants. Shannon, you're a spokesman for a nutritional products company. How prevalent are steroids in the NFL? Shannon Sharpe: Not too prevalent. You're talking about a lot of money. I don't think a guy can withstand a lot of money hits. When they cleaned this up it was the marginal guy, maybe he was not quite good enough. In the Major Leagues (Baseball), you've got the best of the best. You're talking about Barry Bonds, Sheffield, M.V.P.-type guys that are doing this. So that's where the problem lies. Boomer Esiason: I have a problem with this because steroids are illegal. And why should -- if something is that illegal by society should be subjected to - the union has to take a stand. They've got to be significant. I applaud (Senator) John McCain for what he said. Listen, I'm not worried about Barry Bonds and Gary Sheffield. I'm worried about all those young kids that think that's the way they're going to get to the major leagues. I have a 13-year-old son. I don't want him to live that example. Sharpe: I don't want John McCain sticking his nose -- look here. You let baseball, you let the owners -- handle this. Congress, you handle campaign financing. That's what you do. You let us handle this over here. Boomer: Baseball hasn't handled it. That's the problem. Dan Marino: Their union doesn't support testing. The players in the NFL want testing. They don't want other players to have an advantage over them. As far as the NFL is concerned, we're doing it right. Gumbel: The players have been at the forefront in making all of these rules in the nfl.

?(On Drew Brees and San Diego Chargers quarterback situation) Boomer: One of three things, you either keep both of them, you trade Rivers or you trade Brees. I don't see how can you keep both of them, even though you can afford them. The fact that I would think that Drew Brees has got to be wondering about Schottenheimer. How can he trust him? I think they have to trade Philip Rivers, which would be fairly easy...If you're Drew Brees, I don't know how you trust Marty Schottenheimer.

?(On Buffalo Bills)
Boomer: You talk about the A.F.C. And the pressure that is building for the wild card. All have to win to stay in this fight. Reason being, watch out for the Buffalo Bills. They have the easiest remaining schedule. They're 5-6 right now. I can see them rolling off five straight victories here to end the season 10-6. Drew Bledsoe and the Buffalo Bills in the playoffs? Maybe. You watch. Shannon Sharpe to Boomer: I can see you rolling off the cliff of Niagara Falls.

(More)

?(On Cleveland's interim coach Terry Robiskie) Sharpe: Look, this is the second time that Terry Robiskie has been named interim head coach. Every time he's interim, he replaces a guy, but it's the same team. How can you win? The guy before you couldn't win with them. They'll listen to you for one or two games. Terry, I think you deserve a better opportunity. The next time you get on someone's staff, say no, I don't want it. Let me out the door with the guy and I want to get my own team.

?(Animated NFL TODAY anchor Thurston Long hosted a satirical Celebrity Roast of Bill Parcells with animated characters Parcells, Lawrence Taylor, Phil Simms, Bill Belichick, Vinny Testaverde, Keyshawn Johnson, Bobby Knight and Jerry Jones)

Gumbel: Welcome back, everyone. Over the years, Bill Parcells has made many friends and his fair share of enemies. As Thurston Long finds out in this special edition of "Outside the Huddle." Announcer: Live from the Tampa Bay motor lodge, it's PUNT TV's Celebrity Roast of Bill Parcells. And now, here's our roast master, a man whose tuxedo is due back in two hours, Thurston Long. Thurston Long: Welcome, folks. Coach Parcells, great to have you back in Tampa. Maybe the third time will be the charm. Parcells: You never know.
Long: This room became available at the last minute when the Notre Dame Booster Club canceled their Tyrone Willingham pancake breakfast. Lawrence Taylor and Phil Simms. Taylor: L.T. is honored for being paid to be here. Make sure you tip them when they bring your car around. Simms: It's good to have you back. Imagine how much of a laughing stock you'd be if Joe Gibbs didn't come back. Long: Let's move on before Bill entertains offers from other roasts. Next up is a guy whose waited a long time to fillet the tuna, Mr. Bill Belichick. Belichick: I thought I was on later. I'm not done breaking down tapes of the Dean Martin Celebrity Roast. You taught me coaching is all about control. But even you couldn't master the weather. (Summoning) Wind (it blows). Rain (it rains). Snow (it snows). Remember that Jets mess you left me? Parcells: Sure do.
Belichick: Tuck this (throwing a snowball at Parcells). Long: Bill, you look as comfortable as Butch Davis in the Browns' dawg pound. Parcells: This thing is stupid. Move it along. Long: You're right. Now here's two Parcells guys that have been with Bill longer than his third chin. Vinny Testaverde and Keyshawn Johnson. Testaverde: There are several players we'd like to acknowledge. There's Scott Norwood. Keyshawn: And there's the Kansas City Chiefs' defense, nice of you guys to finally show up. Testaverde: How about a hand for those high school football players in the back. No, sorry, that's the Saints' table. Keyshawn: How come I don't see Qincy Carter out there? Parcells: Because I cut him from the guest list. Long: Hey, coach, seeing Keyshawn reminded me, make sure you check out your third Super Bowl ring over on Jon Gruden's finger. Knight: Out of my way, rookie.
Long: It's Bobby Knight, everybody.
Knight: First of all, I [Beep] Love Bill Parcells. (More)
THE NFL TODAY WEEK 13...3

Long: High-hoe.
Knight: Shut up. You've made more stops than a city bus. Hand me a seat and I'll tell you some [Beep] Bill Parcells stories. Eli Manning, great toss. Let's hear it from the man of the hour before he retires again. Coach? Parcells: What am I supposed to say to end this stupid thing? Jones: Say you're going to start Drew Henson. Parcells: Jerry, stay off the sidelines. Jones: Bill, didn't I tell you that you are sharing my sidelines and my spotlight? We're starting Drew -- Parcells: Vinny.
Jones: Henson.
Parcells: Testaverde.
Long: How about them Cowboys? Folks, we're out of time. Join us next week as Peyton Manning, Brett Favre and Sinbad roast what's left of Dan Marino's records.

?(Excerpts from Shannon Sharpe's Feature on New England's Corey Dillon) Sharpe: It's been a win-win situation for Corey Dillon and the Patriots. Blamed for everything that went wrong in Cincinnati, now he's giving New England the thousand-yard rusher they've been missing and the Patriots have been giving him something he's always wanted -- respect. Do you care how you're perceived by the public, by the fans? Dillon: In a way I do. And in a way, I don't. Yeah, everybody would like to be perceived as a good guy. Everybody, that's natural. I mean, I'm human. I don't want people to say, you know, bad things about me. But on the flip side of that, it's been so much said...I'm numb. I don't really -- it's nothing new. Sharpe: Why couldn't the Bengals and Corey Dillon get along? Why couldn't it be an amicable relationship? Dillon: You know what? I don't know. I just think... Sharpe: Was it always like that?
Dillon: I think it was like that.
Sharpe: From the day you walked in?
Dillon: From jump street. As soon as I stepped off the plane, it was always like that, because I always had to be vocal about things that just -- you should know that's right. And I always had to argue about things that I shouldn't have to argue over. Sharpe: When Marvin Lewis was made head coach, do you think the situation would change then? Dillon: No, in some aspects he inherited a situation because there were some people there I didn't get along with, I didn't trust. I felt, you know, they didn't have my best interests at heart before he got there. I told him I wasn't coming back. That was the year before he got there. No, serious. I'm just being honest. Before he was hired, I said, man, trade me. I told them that. I said trade me somewhere else. Let me go on and be happy.

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